I’m still thinking about down the middle when, after arriving to the clicking and flashing of cameras, and having shaken a few hands of folks I scarcely recognize, I sit smack in the center of a table only I occupy, but for the company of my one legal representative, none other than Candice herself.

What happens next speeds by in a blur of sound and gesturing and posturing. The hearing gets called to order, and before I know it, I’m standing to swear I’ll tell the truth. What a picture it must make, me, in my spiffiest Army uniform, ribbons, and two purple hearts hanging from my chest, hand raised. I can see the picture on a magazine cover already. Shot from below, with a wide enough angle to catch some of the other folks in the room, making me look like the big, thick gal that I am. That’ll boom and buzz, won’t it, Candice? I’m sure she’ll tweet it the second she gets a hold of it.

With that done, we all sit down, and the chairman launches into a dissertation of why we’re here, what we hope to accomplish, something or other about the American people deserving to know the truth, and a bunch of other Applehood and Motherpie pronouncements. Yes, I twisted-switched those words on purpose, because that’s how this whole thing strikes me.

Along the way, Mr. Chairman gives me a verbal pat on the head, thanking me for my willingness to partake in the process, and how he and his colleagues look forward to what I have to say, because he’s oh, so sure I’ll help advance the cause of the hearings by so much, it’ll make your eyes weep. Well, that last bit represents a goodly amount of poetic license on my part. Still, my eyes do want to weep, not from a touched heart and the emotion that spews from it, but in the way one does when someone’s held their face inches from a piled load of fresh manure.

Since this is a joint committee, the chairman, a member of the House of Representatives, has a Senate buddy: his co-chairman. He now passes the baton to him, and with as small a sigh as I can restrain, I sit tight for another taxpayer funded oratory onslaught.

Instead, the gentleman surprises me. He leans forward to rest both elbows on the table. Though I bet everyone else misses it, I catch a glint in his eye, as close as he can get to winking at me.

“How are you this morning, Major Murphy?” he says.

“To be precisely honest, I’ve been better. Much better, in fact.”

Chuckles break out in the crowd. The good senator graces me with a grandfatherly smile.

“Good to see you’re precisely honest,” he throws out. “We’re going to need a lot of that by the time we’re done with these hearings.”

His eyes twinkle at me again, goading me to toss back a clever retort of my own. But if he’s fly fishing, I ain’t gonna play like either his fly or the trout he’s after.

“Well, you’re not telling us we’re that scary or unpleasant here, are you?” He’s affected a bit of his own sort of sourthern twang, and I recall he’s from South Carolina.

I lean forward toward my mike. “Last time I visited DC, a bomb blast blew me clear across a lawn. When compared to testifying here, I reckon that will be by far the most pleasant experience.”

The laughter echoes louder this time, like they mean it. Like this is going to be funnnn!

The senator smiles some more and nods. “In the interest of time, I’m going to forego my statement.” He extends a hand toward me. “Let’s go ahead and proceed with yours.”

I look down at my notes, then come up bearing down on him with a smile of my own. “In the interest of time, I think I’ll let my previous statement stand as my opening remarks.”

Even though I don’t look over, next to me I can picture Candice cringing. She wrote me a tight opening statement—“loaded with tweetable phrases, Jane.” She made me rehearse it for days on end until I got the intonation just right, and I’ve just tossed it in the trash. She goes to lean for the first round of sweet whisperings in my ear, but I stop her by placing my hand on her forearm.

I got this. We’re going to do this my way. No, it ain’t going to be pretty, and we’re all going to be bleeding by the time this is done. And of all the folks in here, I’m the one with the most on-the-job, hands-on bleeding experience, so let’s see how they enjoy the ordeal.

Thank you for reading this installment of Wounded Honor. Leading up to and following it’s release on April 21, I will be sharing preview samples for my readers. Keep checking in, and don’t forget to join my Reader’s Club if you haven’t already to stay up to date on future announcements and giveaways.